I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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