Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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