I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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