david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
