YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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