Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
