I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize