Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
