Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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