Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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