When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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