uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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