You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
