Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
