ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
