i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
