No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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