Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
