She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
