there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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