Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
people are starting to question the shark bite story
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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