if only i could text you this smell
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
