Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
