just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize