I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Someone shattered a urinal.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
