They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
