i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
