omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
