Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
