It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
me + whiskey = a bad person
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
