'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
