; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
