If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i think im in europe. pls send help
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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