this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
there is glitter all over my balls
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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