yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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