it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize