Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
