dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
