I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize