I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize