That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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