This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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