I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
