Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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