MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
