The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
bring money and cleavage
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
