Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
