apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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