Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
