I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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