I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's shark week go big or go home
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
