so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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