Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
