those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
