She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize