I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
