His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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