Can Purell be used as lube?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize