So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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