The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
